Beastar ★

WHAT A MESS!

….i wish it wasnt.

i want him. wish he could believe me.

=(

college…sem2

you know the song that you sang when you were younger and went: “head, shoulders, knees and toes, knees and toes, and eyes, and ears, and mouth and nose.”

yeah well once you get older it now goes: “cephalic, acromial, patellar and digital, patellar and digital, and orbital, and ears(dont know that one yet), and oral, and nasal.”

hahaaaha. -a&p

We spend our childhood wishing we were older. Well now I’m older, and this shit sucks.

(via melll)

ughhh i want to be a child that has nothing to worry about other than learning their ABC’s.

Hap-pay

thats what i am hap-pay.

i just forget about it sometimes. i forget so many more people have it worse than me and have gone or are going through really bad times. for me the most tragic thing that has happened to me is getting last in a fair that that had three rides and was two acres big.

i sometimes just need reminding that i’m a happy healthy perfect person…0okay not perfect but normal as any human being can be. =)

Life is like the wheel of fortune.

Life is a cycle…you go up and then you go down. It is unavoidable. Though some people just go through them faster than others.

At this moment in my life it is in the down stage. I’m broke. My friends are leaving me. My boyfriend and I are not doing very well. And my job sucks.

All my money has either gone into buying my car, gas, fixing my other car, paying partially for my college and other little things so I can enjoy life. But in the end I just stress out and end up not enjoying life because i need to save money to buy more important things or just not bieng fun to be with cause im stressing out.

All my good friends are leaving for college or we just have distanced ourselves from each other. It sucks. I miss having them there.

For my job i’m stuck in the heat grilling hotdogs and hamburgers for eight hours when I only get about 12 people to order something. With no tips. So I die from the heat and sweating, go insane for being outside by myself bored outta my mind and nauseas from the food smells.

Finally my relationship. I love my boyfriend very very much. I wouldn’t and don’t want anyone else. It’s just I feel so stressed out with constantly going to see him and think of ideas for him and I to do other than chill at his house all the time and at the same time doing all that it’s costing me money. i mean he doesn’t have a job or a licenses and i keep waiting for him to get things done and it pisses me off. i don’t deserve to wait. and he could at least pitch in on what to do once in a fuckin while. it is also sressful becausemy parents don’t know him very well so i alwayshave them attacking me about him and what he is doing with himself, why he doesnt come see me, does he have a job, why doesnt he have a job…UGHAakfhksa!!!!

I’m just feeling so run down from that plus everything else. I’m starting to not sleep well. Eat well or often. And enjoy being myself. So all in all I’m in a low part of my life and it sucks. I need help and relaxation.